NO BLOG FOR SEVERAL DAYS

I gotta leave Camp Alamo for a while. Probably won't have access to a computer, so no blogging.

Probably a good thing, since I was running out of material. Hopefully I can bring back some good stuff.


Keep the emails coming though. I'll look forward to them.

And by the way....please...no more cookies or candy!!! I went through a whole box of Mrs. Fields' chocolate chip yesterday. You guys aren't helping the war effort!!

Dateline Afghanistan: Absconding with the Tea

Here is another picture from our training for the illiterate soldiers. The lesson here is that you shouldn't steal.

You'd think that the t.v. would be the most valuable item in this picture. You might be wrong. More on that in a minute.

The funny part about this picture is that the senior officers kept ruffling the soldiers' clothes to make them look the part of nefarious thieves.

Note how their hats are off center and their pants aren't tucked in to their boots.

The situation was hilarious because the poor soldier with the t.v. had to hold it for at least ten minutes while the officers kept messing with his clothes. They were so concerned with getting the perfect shot while I was terrified that he was going to drop the tube. We all laughed and had a good time. Sounds silly, but it's times like these that are really good....where the language barriers are broken by simple laughter.

A couple of interesting things to point out in this picture. The lead soldier is carrying a thermos. Theft of this item might even be worse than the t.v. That's because every Afghan carries a thermos that contains hot chai, or tea. Tea is very important to the Afghans. It's pretty good, except that it is served at a ridiculously hot temperature. I personally suspect that they enjoy watching me struggle to sip it while they gulp it down.

Another interesting thing about the tea. We're pictured here in an Afghan office building. Whenever there is leftover tea in a cup, it's simply tossed onto the rug that you see here. I'm not being critical. It's their tea, their rug and their country. They can do what they want.

I'm just saying that (puposefully) chucking one's beverage on the carpet is a little different, that's all.

Afghan Actors, French Photographers

No, you're not witnessing a battle. You've heard me talk before about the difficulties with literacy in Afghanistan. Most people can't read, and that includes the soldiers.

We're working hard to change that with literacy programs. We have full time army soldiers and DOD civilians running many different programs.

In the meantime, we use visual aids to teach the soldiers. We obviously want them to obey the laws of war and to treat civilians and prisoners humanely.

We have started a project that will result in a comic book of sorts being presented to the new soldiers showing them what is right and wrong on the battlefield. Some French photographers were commissioned to do the job, and I was tasked to help them find scenery, soldiers and equipment to do the photo shoot. Above you see a mock battle scene, with the photographers on the right.


Note the harsh mountainous Afghan landscape. No trees. No vegetation.

Many people ask me about sand. I haven't seen any. This isn't the desert. It's mountainous, with dirt and rock. When the snow melts, there's lots of mud. Lots.

Below we see the actors surrendering to real Afghan soldiers. The idea here is that you don't kill prisoners. At least we still abide by the rules.


Note the mud.

I enjoyed working with the French photographers. Nice guys. When we were first introduced, they seemed to pity me for being stuck in Afghanistan. They were very surprised to learn that I actually volunteered. They couldn't believe that an American lawyer would ask for this duty.

Maybe it sounds strange, but this made me very proud to be an American.

Deep Thoughts from the Camp Alamo Laundry

Continuing the Camp Alamo tour, our next stop is the laundry room. The facilities are actually very nice. Fortunately, everything is free. No coin operated machines.

The detergent is also free, although it is unscented. Generally you've got to use more of it than you normally would to get the best results.

This facility is housed inside a long wooden shed. This is much different than the laundry facilities at Camp Shelby, where I trained for this mission.


I wish that I had taken a picture of Camp Shelby's laundry. Again, it was free, so I can't complain too much. Nevertheless, it was an interesting sight.

The Camp Shelby laundry was housed in the back of two eighteen wheeler semi trailers. You heard me. Trailers. The back end and sides were open, exposing those doing laundry (and the machines) to the elements. Eighteen wheeler laundromats are strange sights to see in the middle of a field in rural Mississippi. Wait, this is Mississipi we're talking about. Maybe it's not so strange.

Back to the Camp Alamo laundry. As you might expect, these machines are in high demand. I am unclear on the unwritten rule about finished laundry. What is expected if you need to do your wash and you come across a washing machine that is full of clothes but has finished its cycle? Do you wait around until the owner removes his clothes? I think we can eliminate that option. That is probably too time consuming and frustrating.

Do you remove the owner's wet clothes and put your clothes in the machine? If so, do you leave his wet clothes on top of the washer so he can claim them? That seems a bit harsh. Do you put his clothes in an empty dryer and start the dryer for him? What if he has delicate items that should not be dried? Do you examine his laundry and sort this issue out?

If you go with the last option, it can get really weird if the owner walks in to find you sorting through his wet clothes. This has happened to me. It's one of those George Costanza moments where you really can't win. Sure, your motives were good, but now it looks like you were curiously examining this guy's undergarments. Not a comfortable situation.

You apologetically mumble that you were only trying to help and skulk quickly away. Unfortunately this is a small post, and you are bound to run into this guy often. Wonder what he thinks of you now?

This is all very perplexing to me.

GYM NAUSEUM

We are extremely fortunate to have a first class weight room and gym here at Camp Alamo. I do not mean to disparage this wonderful facility with my blog title. Rather, I am describing the attitude and conduct of a few of those who (mis)use it.


I love this insane picture inside the gym. This guy looks like he stuffed some wasabi up his nose.

I suspect that the Brits made this poster; you don't often find Americans throwing the term "tidy" about.

Another poster reminds us to "have a shower" before going to the cafeteria. "Have a shower." Again, probably British. You might say "duh" to this admonition but you wouldn't believe how often it goes unheeded.


Here's a picture of the weights. Through the hallway on the left there are about five treadmills and other aerobic equipment. Again, it's really a fine facilty. I spend a lot of time in here, which brings us to today's story.

If you've ever used a gym, you know that there are certain unwritten codes, certain boundaries that we're all supposed to respect. I won't enumerate them all here, but you get the point.

Most folks who use the facility know those boundaries. However, there are things that go on in here that drive me nuts.

There is a stereo back in the far right corner. You can't see it very well in this picture.



It's a nice stereo. Unfortunately it is too nice. Its volume capacity knows no bounds. If you are in the States, and you hear loud music, trust me.....it's coming all the way from Afghanistan..... from this stereo. I thought that the Workout Code of Ethics had a clause stating that house music must be kept at a moderate level. Throw that out the window here.

EVERY TIME I use the gym, the music is turned up to an earsplitting level. The worst part is that it's usually the latest gangsta nonsense. My apologies to those of you trying to "keep it real." It's my blog, and I don't like that stuff.

The stereo is so loud, I can't even hear the music on my ipod with its volume turned up to full blast. What really amazes me is that no one else seems to mind. Everybody else has their headphones on, yet they are completely oblivious to the pain. It can't be my good hearing. Maybe everyone else has lost theirs.

I have resorted to asking the perpetrator to turn down the stereo, or doing it myself. Neither method is popular. I fear that it will come down to fisticuffs one day soon.

Another thing that blows my mind is the guys who go outside and smoke between sets or right before they start working out. No kidding. I guess they think it improves their workout. Whatever.

I'm no weightlifting professional, but I have been around it most of my life and generally know what I am doing. What I see in this gym worries me sometimes. Guys using bench press bars (and bench press weight) to do curls for instance. One day I saw two guys spend two hours on one machine, with no method to their madness. Random weight amounts, sets, repetitions, groans and grunts were thrown together in a hazardous fashion over and over. I kept those guys in the corner of my eye the entire time in case they pinned themselves down.

So that's the gym. Tomorrow I will address the laundry room.

Ba'dan mebinametan.

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Traditional Afghan Meal

I am once again photographing food, causing more comrades to question my sanity. This time it's the Afghan soldiers.

I ate lunch today with my Afghan counterpart, Colonel Khaliq, who I mentor on an almost daily basis. Here is a photo of our food. Everyone gets the same dish. I'll talk about that in a minute.

COL Khaliq is the top legal officer at the Kabul Military Training Center, and I am working with him to establish a completely new court system and I'm helping him handle all of the legal issues that come up at this huge garrison. I wish I could post a picture of COL Khaliq and my interpreter, but the enemy reads these blogs too.

There is a bounty on the lives of all those who work with Americans. My interpreter told me today of two interpreters in Khandahar that were beheaded for working with us. I can't endanger them by posting their pictures, especially showing them with me. That's sad, but it's reality. I previously had a picture of my interpreter posted, but after hearing this news, I took it down.

Ok, back to the meal. This is what the Afghans eat every day. There is always rice and nan (which is their word for bread, pronounced "naahn"). Look closely at the lower left portion of the plate. The nan is in a semi-circle shape on top of the rice. I'm not sure what kind of meat is used, but there are some vegetables mixed in. You are supposed to mix the meat and vegetables with the rice.

There's also fruit. Usually oranges or bananas. That's your dessert.

I was very honored that COL Khaliq asked me to come to lunch with him. However, I can't say that I'll make it a habit. For some reason, this food is very hard on our sensitive American stomachs.

I will spare you the details.

"Steve Austin, astronaut. A man barely alive. Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the technology...."

What, you ask, does the "Six Million Dollar Man and the Bionic Woman" book have to do with Afghanistan? Well, look closer. This book was donated by Operation Paperback - one of the organizations that sends free books to the troops.

Some of these books are good. I am currently reading "The Broker" by John Grisham. However, with some of the books, you wonder what the "donator" was thinking. Do they think the soldiers are in sixth grade?

No matter. I have a law degree and I love this particular book. The Six Million Dollar Man was one of my favorite tv shows as a kid.

I remember that SMDM always came on after "60 Minutes" on Sunday nights at my grandmother's house. We met my Uncle Buddy, Aunt Marcy and my cousins Amy and David there every Sunday. This was one of the best things about my childhood. I loved going to my grandmother's so much that I spent my first college spring break at her house. No kidding.

Ok, back to the books. I found a Scooby Doo book that I gave to my interpreter to help him learn English. Later that night he called me on my cellphone to ask (and you have to imagine his accent here) "What is...how do you say.... Scoobiedoo?" He had a hard time understanding the concept of a gargantuan bipedal canine sleuth who talks to humans, albeit with a serious speech impediment. Then I had to explain haunted houses, ghosts and Scoobie Snacks - all the Hanna-Barbera fare.

I think that I have created more problems than I solved.

ITALIAN PIZZA

Once a week we travel to the Italian special forces base to eat homemade pizza with them.

The food is incredible, but I am also amazed by their artistry. Here you can see some of the murals that they've painted inside their headquarters.

As each successive group of soldiers come in, they put paint their unit crests and sign their names to them.
Another unit crest with the names of the Italian soldiers who have served here in Afghanistan.

Note their cool tiger striped table. I have no idea what purpose it serves.
Here is their brick oven that I've been raving about. This is where they cook the pizzas
Here the soldiers are making the dough. Good stuff.
Here's their cook taking the pizza out of the oven. It has a thin crust and it's delicious. This is a great break from our cafeteria food and I look forward to visiting with them every week.

The Italians think that I am certifiably insane because I keep taking pictures of their food. Of course, the insanity developed long before that.

These guys were nice enough to give me one of their special forces t-shirts. Like I said before, what's the point of going to a war zone if you can't bring back a t-shirt to prove you were there??

FROM TIME.COM

SCOTT'S NOTE: No, I'm not getting lazy with my blog. I have decided to also post stories of interest concerning Afghanistan, particularly those stories that in my opinion focus on the real issues. Here, Time.com provides two stories on subjects of real importance to the Afghanistan mission; Pakistan's alleged involvement and the need for more troops.

I will refrain at this point from expressing my extreme disappointment in those of you who will avoid reading these articles because you don't like the news, you have Attention Deficit Disorder or you have something better to do.

A TALIBAN SPOKESMAN'S CONFESSION

Afghan officials have long accused Pakistan of harboring leading elements of the Taliban. And, they say, the confession of a leading Taliban spokesman arrested in Afghanistan on Monday further bolsters their claim. Abdul Haq, better known as Dr. Hanif, was caught just hours after crossing the border from Pakistan into Afghanistan in Nangahar province. His capture, after he was followed from the border on a tip, was a success for the beleaguered National Defense Services (NDS), Afghanistan's intelligence branch, which has long been unable to prevent suspected Taliban militants from treating the poorly guarded border as a revolving door, entering at will to assist with attacks on Afghan and Coalition forces, then melting back into the sanctuary of Pakistan's ungoverned frontier zone.

The top U.S. commander calls for an increase in troops and resources for America's "invisible war." And Secretary of Defense Gates appears receptive
Afghan investigators say that under questioning, Dr. Hanif, who had been working with the Taliban for the past 14 months, told them that the organization would never have been able to challenge Afghan military and NATO forces without the direct assistance of Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence agency. "This means that according to his confession, the ISI of Pakistan is directly involved in funding, arming and supporting the Taliban and other opposition groups against the government of Afghanistan," says NDS spokesman Sayed Ansari.

Although the ISI is believed to have played a major role in nurturing the Taliban and bringing it to power in the mid-1990s, Pakistan has routinely denied the accusation that it continues to provide support or a permissive environment for the organization. Just last week, outgoing U.S. National Intelligence Director John Negroponte warned that while Pakistan is "a frontline partner in the war on terror," it is also the country "where the Taliban and al-Qaeda maintain critical sanctuaries." Al-Qaeda, he said, is "cultivating stronger operational connections and relationships that radiate outward from their leaders' secure hideout in Pakistan to affiliates throughout the Middle East, North Africa and Europe."

And on a visit to Afghanistan Tuesday, Defense Secretary Robert Gates reiterated the point, saying, "There are more attacks coming across the border; there are al-Qaeda networks operating on the Pakistani side of the border. And these are issues that we clearly will have to pursue with the Pakistani government."

U.S. officials are skeptical about a recent agreement between Pakistan's government and local tribes in North Waziristan, under which Pakistani troops withdrew from the area on the understanding that the tribes would police all cross-border incursions into Afghanistan. The number of cross-border attacks from the area since the agreement is double the figure for the same period a year ago, according to U.S. military spokesman Colonel Tom Collins, addressing reporters traveling with Gates. "We are seeing evidence that the enemy is taking advantage of that agreement to launch attacks into Afghanistan."

Dr. Hanif's confession is likely to turn up the heat on Islamabad. He is said to have told his interrogators that the recent surge of suicide attacks in Afghanistan were carried out by men trained at a fundamentalist madrassah in Pakistan's Bajur agency, not far from the Afghan border in Waziristan. And also that Mullah Omar, the one-eyed leader of the Taliban, was being sheltered by the ISI in the Pakistani city of Quetta. Dr. Hanif was instrumental in arranging a written interview with a Pakistani newspaper on Jan. 4 in which the reclusive leader warned, "Foreign troops should at once leave Afghanistan and then the institutions they created should be dismantled. Unless this happens, war will heat up further. It will not recede."

The past year has been the bloodiest in Afghanistan since the fall of the Taliban regime in late 2001. Bomb attacks more than doubled, and suicide attacks increased fivefold. And far from skulking in the shadows, the organization was working to build its media profile. Dr. Hanif gave his mobile phone number to journalists, and could always be reached for a comment on the latest fighting. "NATO says 50 dead Taliban?" he would splutter indignantly. "Not one dead, and we killed 50 soldiers." And even if his count rarely matched reality, the chubby-faced 26-year-old knew how to spin a chilling quote, telling TIME last summer, after one particularly brutal suicide bombing in Kandahar had killed eight Afghan laborers working at a nearby military base: "These men were American servants, and they were punished."

Dr. Hanif's capture comes as no surprise to the journalists covering the war, because his swaggering confidence kept him moving perpetually closer to discovery — in recent months, he had begun calling up journalists himself, to correct what he termed "misreporting" in their stories. He even berated one journalist last summer for referring to Dr. Hanif as a "man who claims to be a Taliban spokesman." Hanif's confession to the NDS appears to reflect a bitterness against Pakistan and the ISI, even a feeling that he was betrayed by them. But it may be just as likely that he simply got too cocky, making one call too many on the mobile phone that had made him a media celebrity.

Coalition forces in Afghanistan are bracing for a major Taliban offensive in the spring. But with Dr. Hanif in custody, that offensive may lack the accompanying media barrage — at least until the "Doctor" is replaced.

A SURGE IN AFGHANISTAN TOO?

The U.S. commander in Afghanistan has asked for "significant increases" in resources for what some critics call America's "invisible" war. Army Lt. Gen. Karl Eikenberry, the head of U.S. forces in Afghanistan, has recommended to Gates that the U.S. send more troops and more money to Afghanistan. He has proposed almost tripling the spending on assistance to the Afghan Security Forces and reconstruction projects to some $8 billion.

Related
The Surge: Just Enough to Lose?
There's a lot of skepticism among the military about Bush's plan. But they're getting something Rumsfeld long opposed: an overall boost in Army and Marine troops
While the request needs the approval of the Joint Chiefs of Staff before it can be presented to President Bush, Secretary of State Robert Gates — on his first trip to Afghanistan — appears receptive to the idea.

Eikenberry, who is coming to the end of his second tour in the country but will leave Afghanistan later this month, argues that 2007 is critical. The Taliban has returned with a vengeance, Pakistan has become a safe haven for insurgent attacks, NATO has failed to send as many troops as initially pledged, and indications are that the enemy is gearing up for a new offensive. "It is going to be a violent spring," Eikenberry told a small group of reporters in Kabul on Tuesday.

The violence in Afghanistan has reached the worst levels since the U.S. attack against the Taliban in 2001-2002. In a briefing for several reporters in Kabul earlier this week, a U.S. military intelligence officer disclosed grim statistics on insurgent attacks in Afghanistan: 139 suicide attacks in 2006, up from 27 in 2005, and 1,677 roadside bombs last year, compared with 783 in 2005. So-called direct attacks (small arms, grenades and other weapons) tripled from 1,558 in 2005 to 4,542 last year. In one area on the Afghan-Pakistan border, the focus of a peace pact signed last September, attacks from safe havens inside Pakistan have jumped some 300%. "The enemy is taking advantage of that agreement to launch attacks into Afghanistan," said Army Colonel Tom Collins, Eikenberry's spokesman.

Many military officers have complained that Washington has failed to keep its focus on the fight in Afghanistan. But that attitude may be changing. "We cannot let the success in Afghanistan slip away," Gates told reporters on Wednesday, adding that he would be "very sympathetic" if more forces were recommended.

Pentagon officials would not discuss exactly how many troops Eikenberry wants to add to the 18,000 U.S. troops already in Afghanistan, but estimates are that it could be several thousand. "There will be no decrease in U.S. forces and they could go higher," said Eikenberry. When asked by a reporter today if the U.S. military was too strained by Iraq and other commitments to send more troops to Afghanistan, Gen Peter Pace acknowledged that "any kind of deployment is going to add a short-term strain." But he said that a short-term increase in troops could actually mean less strain on the force over the longer run.

The call for more troops is coming at a time when NATO appears unable or unwilling to take the fight to the enemy. It has failed to send some 3,000 troops it has pledged, and even some of those soldiers operate under rules that preclude the toughest combat. NATO commanders also appear to be minimizing the worsening situation in Afghanistan. A briefing by a British general in the NATO chain told reporters that a recent "spike" in violence had come and gone. Other military sources attribute the slackening to the cold of Afghan winter.

From CNN.com

Scott's note: I can now acknowledge this incident since it's been released by an official U.S. spokesman. This took place at our headquarters. I was just there earlier this week. Our Afghan friends who thwarted this attack are incredibly courageous. This is an outstanding example of why our efforts here in Afghanistan need more support from the American public.

Afghan civilians stop terror attack at U.S. base

POSTED: 12:01 a.m. EST, January 17, 2007

Story Highlights• Afghan interpreter, security guard prevent bombing, U.S. military says

KABUL, Afghanistan (CNN) -- Two civilians thwarted an attempted terrorist attack Tuesday when a vehicle loaded with explosives attempted to crash through the front gate of a U.S. base in the Afghan capital, according to the U.S. military.

The two men, an interpreter and a security guard, dragged the apparent suicide bomber from the vehicle before he could detonate explosives, said Col. Tom Collins, the chief spokesman for U.S. forces in Afghanistan.

"I think it's a pretty amazing and heroic event," Collins said. He said that at about 9 a.m. Tuesday (10:30 p.m. ET Monday) a driver crashed his vehicle into Camp Phoenix, the base where the Afghan National Army and police are trained. The driver reached for what appeared to be a cord to detonate a bomb, he said.

"Amazingly, a couple of Afghans who just happened to be on the scene there realized what was happening," Collins said. "Anyone's inclination would have been to run away but these guys are genuine heroes," Collins said.

The area was immediately cordoned off while authorities waited for a bomb disposal team.
During the attempt to disarm it, the device went off. It's unclear how much or what kind of explosive material was used, Collins said. No U.S. or coalition troops were injured.

Not the first attack on base

In the past six months more than 70 allied troops -- mostly Canadian and British -- have died. About 70 U.S. troops also have been killed. Because there has been so much violence in Afghanistan, Collins said his troops and the people who work near them are particularly alert.
"We're trying to control these attacks. We have a pretty high level of awareness. That's why [the interpreter and security guard] were able to act so quickly," he said, adding that the men may be honored in some fashion.

Asked if it's easy for someone to ram a car into a compound, Collins replied: "We're in a very large city here in the country of Afghanistan. There's lots of people driving around. This man just happened to get his vehicle along the entry control point."

Though Collins said attacks on bases the size of Camp Phoenix are rare, it's not the first time a suicide bomber has tried to attack soldiers close to the base. Last summer a suicide bomber carrying 300 pounds of explosives killed two U.S. troops, the colonel said.

Strike on insurgent camp along border

The attacks comes on the heels of U.S. Secretary of Defense Robert Gates' first visit to Afghanistan. (Read full story)

Gates arrived Monday and was scheduled to meet with Afghan officials and U.S. and NATO commanders to address the increased fighting against Taliban and al Qaeda terrorists. (Watch Gates assess situation in Afghanistan )

Around 6:55 a.m. Tuesday, Pakistani security forces carried out an airstrike on an insurgent hideout that had been under surveillance for several days in the Zamzola area of South Waziristan, in northwestern Pakistan near the Afghan border, a Pakistani army spokesman said.
According to the spokesman, intelligence sources confirmed that 25 to 30 suspected foreign terrorists and their local backers were occupying a complex of five compounds in the area.
The Pakistani spokesman said three of the five compounds were destroyed, killing at least 25 of the insurgents in the complex.

Last week, troops from NATO's International Security Assistance Force and the Afghan National Army killed as many as 150 insurgents along the mountainous border with Pakistan, NATO officials reported.

That same day U.S. National Intelligence Director John Negroponte told a Senate committee that al Qaeda leaders have a "secure hideout" in Pakistan.
The chief U.S. commander in Afghanistan Lt. Gen. Ken Eikenberry said Tuesday that in December, Taliban attacks have increased 200 percent. Pakistani officials denied the assertion. (Read full story)

NATO commanders have called for the coalition to have more manpower and equipment, and for leaders of each participating country to stop restricting their troops to relatively safer areas.

CONNEX LIVING

"Well we're movin' on up, to the East Side, to a dee-luxe apartment in the skyyyy....."

~Theme from "The Jeffersons"

I finally got assigned to a connex box a couple of days ago. I am not sure what the word "connex" means, but connexes are a series of boxes that are stacked on top of one another and side by side, much like giant Legos. As you can see from the pictures, they are exceptionally small, perhaps 8' x 8'. However, they are private! No sharing space with anyone! No more alarm clock bingo! No more snoring (except for maybe my own)!

The picture above is a view from outside looking in. That's about the best view I can give you, because it is very tight. My brother Michael will be glad to know that I also have sheets - no more "prison style" sleeping! The walls are a kind of plastic, sort of like pvc pipe material. I have my own heater/a.c. too. Again, it really is very nice. Of course, I'm too dense to figure out exactly how the heater works, so the best I can do is turn it off/on all night long as I get too hot/cold.

Here is a shot sitting on the bed looking out towards the door. There is a little locker where you stuff all of the essentials. Everything else is jammed up under the bed to maximize space.

I am almost embarrased by the luxury, and I'm not kidding or being sarcastic. I even have a small t.v. that is hooked up to the Armed Forces Network (AFN), which you can see to the right. At this time I would like to take a moment to digress about the AFN.

While it is t.v., it is a little strange. Sports are never shown live, as far as I can tell. They do show one movie every night, although they are heavily edited. I was delighted the other night when I saw "Animal House" being shown, because it is pretty much my favorite movie. Life certainly imitated art vis-a-vis that movie and the Phi Delts at Tennessee, but that is another story probably not suitable for the public. Anyway, AFN decided that the scene with John Belushi downing the fifth of bourbon was unsuitable, so they deleted it. That sort of sums up the programming.

There are no commercials, unless you count the 30 second public service announcements put out by the Army, Navy and Air Force. These PSA's remind you to do things like floss your teeth or lock your doors at night. There are also wonderful little spots that attesting to the merits of various units around the world. For example, we often see a commercial telling us about the skill and utility of the Air Force cargo loaders. While I would never denigrate their service or doubt that they are indeed doing a fine and valuable job, I will almost welcome the dreaded pharmaceutical commercials when I get home.

Anyway, this connex is a huge upgrade for me. I think constantly of the guys out in the field who freeze every day and night and am very thankful for what I have. Compared to the 'States, connex box living might be inconvenient, but here in the "A" it feels like the Ritz Carlton!!

NJP Training Slides

My boss, LTC Robert Church, came up with a great idea to teach the illiterate Afghan soldiers about NJP, or Non Judicial Punishment. He took a series of pictures showing the Afghan soldiers receiving written punishment or performing acts that they weren't supposed to do. These pictures will be shown to the new Afghan recruits as they in-process so that they will have a better understanding of military discipline.

LTC Church's blog is http://jagman-tfphoenix.blogspot.com/index.html
Visit him if you have time. I think you will be amazed by his experiences, his faith and his love for his family.

LTC Church needed a few more pictures to complete his project and asked me to take them for him. This was an extremely fun day for me. The Afghans are fascinated by digital cameras and will literally beg you to take pictures of them. There were literally fifty to one hundred Afghan soldiers crowded around, laughing and smiling the whole time. They got a big kick out of seeing their friends pose for pictures and they all clamored to be included in the next shot. I am probably naive, but this gave me a really good feeling to see these guys look genuinely happy.

Here are a few things I've learned in Dari, which are spelled phonetically: Salaam Alekum (Hello); Tashakur (thank you); Breegman (Lieutenant); Hulldofhez (good bye); balleh (yes); ney (no) and others that don't come to mind right this second.

This picture shows a soldier going AWOL as he's leaving the gate.

Again, I had a great time with this project. Have a good Friday. I may take a break on the weekend from blogging. Keep the emails coming. You can get my email address by clicking on the "my profile" icon to the right. Hulldofhez!!

INSHALLAH

Before I start into my story for the day, I'll introduce the picture above. This is out on the firing range with the mountains in the background. Great view and bitter, bitter cold. The drive to the top of this precipice was no picknick either. Anytime we do something "scary" in Afghanistan, we say that we'll make it, "Inshallah." Inshallah means "God willing." I was saying "Inshallah" a lot as we went up and down this hill in our vehicle.

Today was a good day. Let's see if I can set this up for you. As you know, I am located inside the KMTC, which is the Kabul Military Training Center. This is the recruiting and training facility for the entire Afghan army. It's a huge facility with a ton of new recruits being processed. It's a small city, really.

Like any large military facility, we have our share of military justice problems. Prior to the coalition involvement, the Afghan military had no real court system or means of administering a fair system of military justice. A lot of stuff had been falling through the cracks at KMTC because of our sheer size.

Today I organized a meeting with the top ANA JAG, who is a brigadier general, the ANA general in charge of KMTC, my full bird colonel, three lieutenant colonels, a major, two captains and myself. Of course, the general's office was also filled with interpreters and administrative assistants. The purpose of the meeting was to formulate a long range plan for the administration of military justice at the KMTC. It was a bit intimidating to have all of these high ranking individuals together.

I addressed the group and through the interpreter told them about our problems and how we proposed to deal with them. A very good discussion followed and it was decided that the military justice jurisdiction would be extended over the entire facility (previously it was only half covered). Moreover, we will establish our own court, complete with judges, prosecutors, defense counsel and criminal investigators.

It's hard to explain the gravity of this development. We have a very important mission here at KMTC; and that is to train the Afghan Army. Part of that training involves instilling a system of fairness and justice throughout the ANA ranks. The thought is that if we start the soldiers off right at the beginning here at KMTC, they will become conscientious soldiers and future citizens. You can't instill this type of outlook without having a military justice system. Imagine trying to motivate a soldier to fight for his country if rules within his own army aren't enforced and if infractions go unpunished.

My job will be to mentor the Afghans as they build this court system at the KMTC. Needless to say, I'm excited about this and hope that we get it underway immediately. Inshallah.

IF YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT DEPLOYMENT IS LIKE, FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS BELOW. ALTHOUGH THIS IS MEANT TO BE FUNNY, IT IS RIGHT ON TARGET!!!

1. Sleep on a cot in the garage.

2 . Replace the garage door with a curtain.

3 . Two hours after you go to sleep, have someone whip open the curtain, shine a flashlight in your eyes and mumble, "Sorry, wrong cot."

4. Renovate your bathroom. Hang a green plastic sheet down from the middle of your bathtub and move the showerhead down to chest level. Keep four inches of soapy cold water on the floor. Stop cleaning the toilet. Leave two to three sheets of toilet paper. Or for best effect, remove it altogether. For a more realistic deployed bathroom experience, stop using your bathroom and use a neighbor's. Choose a neighbor who lives at least a quarter mile away.

5. When you take showers, wear flip-flops and keep the lights off. Alternatively switch from scalding hot to freezing cold water at random.

6. Every time there is a thunderstorm, go sit in a wobbly rocking chair and dump dirt on your head.

7. Put lube oil in your humidifier instead of water and set it on "HIGH" for that tactical generator smell.

8. Don't watch TV except for movies in the middle of the night. Have everyone vote on which movie to watch and then show a different one. Also have family members blast movies you don't want to see right beside your bed in the middle of the night while you're trying to sleep.

9. Leave a lawnmower running in your living room 24 hours a day for proper noise level.

10. Have the paperboy give you a haircut.

11. Once a week, blow compressed air up through your chimney making sure the wind carries the soot across and on to your neighbor's house. Laugh at him when he curses you.

12. Buy a trash compactor and only use it once a week. Store up garbage in the other side of your bathtub.

13. Wake up every night at midnight and have a peanut butter and jelly sandwich on a saltine cracker.

14. Make up your menu a week ahead of time without looking in your food cabinets or refrigerator. Then serve some kind of meat in an unidentifiable sauce poured over noodles. Do this for every meal.

15. Set your alarm clock to go off at random times during the night. When it goes off, jump out of bed and get to the shower as fast as you can. Simulate there is no hot water by running out into your yard and breaking out the garden hose.

16. Once a month, take every major appliance completely apart and put it back together again.

17. Use 18 scoops of coffee per pot and allow it to sit for five or six hours before drinking.

18. Invite at least 185 people you don't really like because of their strange hygiene habits to come and visit for a couple of months. Exchange clothes with them.

19. Have a fluorescent lamp installed on the bottom of your coffee table
and lie under it to read books.

20. Raise the thresholds and lower the top sills of your front and back doors so that you either trip over the threshold or hit your head on the sill every time you pass through one of them.

21. Keep a roll of toilet paper on your nightstand and bring it to the bathroom with you. And bring your gun and a flashlight.

22. Go to the bathroom when you just have to pass gas, "just in case." Every time.

23. Announce to your friends that they have mail, have them report to you as you stand outside your open garage door after supper and then say, "Sorry, it's for the other Smith."

24. Wash only 15 items of laundry per week. Roll up the semi-wet
clean clothes in a ball. Place them in a cloth sack in the corner of the garage where the cat pees. After a week, unroll them and without ironing
or removing the mildew, proudly wear them to professional meetings
and family gatherings. Pretend you don't know what you look or smell
like. Enthusiastically repeat the process for another week.

25. Go to the worst crime-infested place you can find, go heavily
armed, wearing a flak jacket and a Kevlar helmet. Set up shop in a tent in
a vacant lot. Announce to the residents that you are there to help them.

26. Eat a single M&M every Sunday and convince yourself it's for Malaria.

27. Demand each family member be limited to 10 minutes per week for a morale phone call. Enforce this with your teenage daughter.

28. Shoot a few bullet holes in the walls of your home for proper
ambiance.

29. Sandbag the floor of your car to protect from mine blasts and fragmentation.

30. While traveling down roads in your car, stop at each overpass
and culvert and inspect them for remotely detonated explosives before proceeding.

31. Fire off 50 cherry bombs simultaneously in your driveway at 3:00 a.m. When startled neighbors appear, tell them all is well, you are just registering mortars. Tell them plastic will make an acceptable substitute for their shattered windows.

32. Drink your milk and sodas warm.

33. Spread gravel throughout your house and yard.

34. Make your children clear their Super Soakers in a clearing barrel you placed outside the front door before they come in.

35. Make your family dig a survivability position with overhead cover in the backyard. Complain that the 4x4s are not 8 inches on center and make them rebuild it.

36. Continuously go buy Gatoraide.

>> 37. When your 5-year-old asks for a stick of gum, have him find the exact stick and flavor he wants on the Internet and print out the web page. Type up a Form 9 and staple the web page to the back. Submit the paperwork to your spouse for processing. After two weeks, give your son the gum.

38. Announce to your family that the dog is a vector for disease and shoot it. Throw the dog in a burn pit you dug in your neighbor's back yard.

39. Wait for the coldest/hottest day of the year and announce to your family that there will be no heat/air conditioning that day so you can perform much needed maintenance on the heater/air conditioner. Tell them you are doing this so they won't get cold/hot.

40. Pack up everything in your garage and load it up on a truck. Let someone else drive as you ride in the back and have them drive crosscountry at night with no headlights for 4-5 hours and then set everything back up in someone else's garage. Do this every 4-5 days.

41. Don't let anyone in your family go anywhere alone. Also, everyone must carry a firearm with them for protection. The only time they're allowed to be without their firearm is when they're running into the yard for a shower, and when they do that, they must ask another family member to watch the firearm for them.

42. Just when you think you're ready to resume a normal life, order yourself to repeat this process for another six months to simulate the next deployment you've been ordered to support.

"To Sleep, Perchance to Dream- Ay, there's the Rub." (~Shakespeare, Hamlet)

I like to sleep. I think it's a result of having to be at the bus stop by 6:45 as a kid. That meant getting up pretty early. In high school, I got out of 5th period study hall to ostensibly work on my student government duties, but in reality I kept a pillow in the SGA office and slept the entire hour. In college I was fond of saying, "It's a beautiful day outside, I should be home sleeping." Sleep is why I've never taken up golf. I figure if I've got four hours to kill, I could be napping.

None of this means I'm lazy. Not by any means. I just make wise use of my time by sleeping as long as I can. This has not changed since I've been in Afghanistan. I typically am in my office by 7:45 a.m. But that means I sleep until 7 a.m. Or at least I try to do so. That brings us to today's story.

I am fortunate to have some great guys in my B Hut. There is an army sergeant and there are three navy petty officers in addition to me. All from different areas of the country; all with very different sleeping habits and means of getting up in the morning.

Every morning brings its own rude awakening. Today, however, bordered on the ridiculous. Kevin's alarm always goes off at 6am. It consists of a mildly annoying chirping sound, which I believe originates from his cell phone. Today he got up and went to the bathroom after the alarm went off. That's all fine and well, but he forgot to shut off his radio/alarm clock, which always turns on five minutes after his cell phone alarm. This thing produces a horrific buzzing sound that does not stop until the owner shuts it off. I'm sure you get the picture. While Kevin is showering and doing his thing in the bathroom, his radio alarm is buzzing like mad. The rest of his roommates are cussing and yelling, but no one is going to get out of his warm bed to shut the thing off. So everyone just lays there from 6:05 to about 6:15 while this thing blares on and on.

Kevin finally returns from the loo, realizes his mistake, and shuts the thing off. In the meantime, Joe decides to get up and he turns on the lights to the entire B Hut. There's no hiding from the light. But the real adventure is only beginning. Cordell's alarm starts going off. He has one of those old time bell alarms. You know, the kind with the manual clock face and two bells on top that ring incessantly. Cordell can never get up on the first ring. He always, ALWAYS hits the snooze. One morning I counted him hitting the snooze ten times. TEN!!!

Cordell finally got up after about the fifth snooze break this morning and went to the bathroom. Well guess what? He never turned the alarm off - he only hit the snooze button. So five minutes later it goes off again.

RRRRIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNNNNGGGGGG!!!!!!!

At this point I am about to "go postal." I storm over to his bunk, grab the alarm and throw it outside in the snow while it is still ringing. I'm not doing this to create reading material for you; I've really and truly lost it at this point. So Cordell's clock is lying in the snow ringing and finally I hear some Canadians walk by and apparently they shut the thing off.

So that was my morning. I suppose that being awakened in this manner is better than being awakened by shell fire, but I'm not so sure about that.

Blog Break

I am going to take a break from the blog for the weekend. This will give me time to get some more good pictures hopefully. You'll be interested to know that we work generally 24/7; the war does not have days off unfortunately. However I recognize that most folks might look at this while at work so I won't stress about taking a couple days off.

Staying quite busy with paperwork which is not my favorite thing to do. I am working on a few initiatives here at KMTC that I hope will make a big difference. More on that later.

Have a good weekend!

COLD

Much of the snow has melted but it is still very, VERY cold. At least it is to me. At night it gets down to somewhere in the zero to ten degree range, and the high each day has been right around freezing.

I want to be quick to say that I have it very good here, relatively speaking. I am not on the front lines with the soldiers, who no doubt sleep outside in holes in this weather. Remember them, and certainly don't feel sorry for me.

Those who know me know that I can't stand the heat, especially when I'm trying to sleep. Our B hut is about perfect for me at night. I would say that we're able to keep the temperature somewhere in the fifties. I kind of like it at that level. My philosophy has always been that you can always put more blankets on to warm up.

However, extreme bitter cold can be a problem at night. Especially when you have to make the mad dash outside to get to the bathroom. Again, I am extremely fortunate. My hut is right next to the latrine, which is about fifteen yards away. The latrine has a heater inside, so it's not too bad.

Now here's the funny part. At least I think it's funny. You wake up at about 3am and you've got to go to the bathroom. You note that your breath inside the hut is creating steam, so you figure it's going to be less than hospitable outside. You debate whether it's worth it or not to make the mad "dash" to the latrine. You think, "I've got to get up in three hours anyway, maybe I can hold it." Upon further review, you realize that this is not the right approach. You consider the empty water bottle in the corner, and then you remember that you were raised better than that.

So you decide to make the mad dash. You then remember that boxer shorts alone are not authorized army wear. You think about "chancing it" thinking that no one will see you. Then you envision the headlines if you were shot in your Underoos. So you have to put on shorts, or your uniform pants.

You next put your flip flops on. They're great for the shower, but not so great for the ice and snow. I have on more than one occasion participated in an impromptu ice capades show on the way to the 'loo. I've also been so bleary eyed and frozen that I've missed the stairs a few times. Visions of the following telegram have inspired me to be more careful: "Defense Dept. regrets to inform you that Scott suffered an other than combat related injury while attempting to capture the latrine."

Anyway, once you successfully negotiate the dash to and from the latrine, it's back to bed. If you have escaped injury, it wasn't too bad. Now you get to face the cacophony of alarm clocks in three hours. I will write another post about that later. Until then, have a good Friday.

Thursday

I'm getting to do some extremely interesting stuff. Unfortunately I can't tell you about a lot of it. So my family won't worry, I will say that it's not dangerous. I can tell you about some other stuff. I'm getting to do just a little bit of criminal defense, a little bit of legal assistance, a little bit of MP work, a lot of advising the Afghan army, and a lot of advising my commander. I think I've got the best JAG job in country. Most JAGs do only one piece of that puzzle. Generally a JAG is assigned to do "just" legal assistance or "just" criminal law. So that's why I like my job. Variety.

I thought I was going to go to Herat, Afghanistan this next week. That would have been good because I am responsible for one of the bases in Herat. Also, I probably would have come back with a lot of good pictures. Unfortunately I've got something pressing here at Alamo that must be accomplished instead. But I will eventually get there, and also to Mazr-e-sharif, where I have another base.

All of this may or may not be interesting to you. What do you want to hear about? What have I left out? Leave me a comment and I'll do my best to let you know.

Weapons "Other Than Our Own" Training

We had an interesting class the other day on weapons used by our friends and our enemies. These weapons are used by the Afghan army (friends) and the Taliban (bad guys), among other nefarious organizations. That's why I call these weapons "other than our own."

I'll try not to bore you with a long lecture, but you may be interested to know that most of the world does not use weapons manufactured by the United States. Indeed, most of the weapons come out of the former Soviet Union, former Soviet bloc countries or China. Why do most countries use these weapons? Well, because they are generally cheaper to make (no unions to deal with) and on the whole, easier to operate and maintain. I (along with my new Brangelina haircut) shall demonstrate in the following pictures why this is so.

This is the AK-47. It was designed by a Soviet soldier and was first built immediately after WWII. It is still in production today (sixty years later) in one form or another. I think that I can safely say that it is the most recognizable rifle in the world and it is used by more armies than any other rifle. The next picture demonstrates why.

The AK-47 has just five (big) parts inside. It will fire semi-automatic (as fast as you can pull the trigger) or fully automatic (firing as long as you hold the trigger down). It requires very little maintenance, and can stand a great deal of abuse. It can go for a long time without cleaning. It is also extremely easy to operate and does not require a doctorate in metallurgical engineering to break down and reassemble.

This is a Soviet sniper rifle. I forget the name, but it's also simple and effective.

Here we have the RPG, or Rocket Propelled Grenade (launcher). Fortunately for others in the tent, I did not have a grenade affixed to the front. Once again, this requires little brainpower to operate. You do not want to stand behind a person who is firing this weapon, or you will be BBQ'd.

On the left is a machine gun that feeds ammunition through the box mounted on the bottom. The other weapon is simply an AK-47 on a tripod. Again, they all break down easily and will withstand lots of abuse. There are tons of them available all over the world.

That's it for the lecture. I may be scarce on pictures over the next few days, but I promise to go get more. Thanks for the comments and emails. I love reading them and this blog gives me something to look forward to at the end of each day. I go now to dine on fried "something or other" for dinner.

MORE FROM THE BONEYARD

I don't think I gave you enough pictures of the "Boneyard" that I posted previously. As a history buff, this stuff is extremely interesting to me. Most, if not all of the equipment is stuff left behind by the Soviets, and/or was used by the Taliban after the Soviets left it behind. Hundreds of tanks, artillery pieces and armored personnel carriers litter the ground.

Note in the background that there is a part of a truck that has been thrown through the frame of a building. Now that's what I call art.

Happy New Year! More Ghar Pictures....

My very first post had several pictures of the top of the mountain I climbed a few weeks ago. However, I don't think I gave you a good enough idea of how big this thing is and how high it takes you up. These pictures show you the ascent and some interesting features along the way.


At the very beginning. The pic is dark and blurry as it is 6am.

More of the early ascent. Muy steepo.

Probably about 3/4 of the way up. You can see a guy taking a break below, as I was likely doing when I took this picture. You can see the road that we drove in on below.

We're way up now. See the bunker? That used to be a Taliban defensive position. It would have been difficult to attack this uphill. Not sure what happened here. You would think that we would have used a helicopter to take them out, but I saw no signs of that kind of destruction. Maybe we just let them freeze up here instead. I did, however, see a lot of small arms shell casings.

Almost to the top. I think I was trying to take a picture of the jet that was flying BELOW us.

Really beautiful from way up here.

Another defensive position.

Me at the bunker with the view that the gunner must have had. I am trying to smile but my face is frozen.

Another beautiful picture facing the sunrise. The pictures really can't depict how pretty it was up there. Happy New Year's Day everyone.